The strand she left behind

Yes, I saw it more than once.

No, I did not speak in hopes of peace.

Maybe, I should ask and and not dismiss.

Yes, I love you without doubt.

No, you cannot just justify.

Maybe, I should remind myself that I want you, yet do not need you.

Yes, I will stand strong and not get weakened,

Maybe, all I needed was to hear you cared.

No, I shall not continue when the stakes are high

Yes, I deserve to be happy

Maybe, you have learned your lesson.

“She is clothed in Strength & Dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”

Proverbs 31:25

Chapter 43/Page 18

I have heard many times over and over again that our life is what we make it. I agree. How about you?

As 2020 was coming to an end, and now initiating a new year, I have taken more time than usual to do a self analysis. To understand where I am in life, and what I need to achieve to be where I want to be. Accepting the trials and errors of my past 43 years of life is priceless. Understanding that although everything did not unfold perfectly in my life, it cannot be undone or changed.

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So…as I look forward, I will take a seat and refocus from an author’s perspective. I will think wisely about life choices, keeping in mind that whatever happens today will fill the content of the page; hence the title of this post. I am 43 years old and today is Junuary 18th. I am in Chapter 43/page 18. Each chapter will be 365 pages which will relate to every day of the year. What chapter and page are you in right now?

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Wow! What happened in the last 42 chapters of my life? It seems like a lot of content should have been recorded, yet my memories don’t feel sufficient to justify so many pages; and just like that, life continues without stopping and we are so caught up with life struggles that we forget to focus on ourselves. My plan moving forward is to remember that I hold the ink that writes my story. It is only I that can control what and how the story goes. Although life will have its curveballs, more than often, we will be faced with decisions that will take us to the next page.

Be thankful, be humble, be loyal, be wise. You own your story, fill in the pages.

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”-Scott Adams

Buscame #poesia #spanishpoetry #poem

Buscame cuando me empiezes a extrañar,
cuando la brisa del invierno toque tu piel
y sientas el frio de la soledad.

Buscame en tus sueños,
en tu memoria escondida-
quiza en esa historia yo todavia exista.

Tu lejania fue dificil,
aun recuerdo aquel "adios" que nunce diste-
Dia tras dia te pense, extanandote en mi piel
tus ojos cristalinos, tus besos sabor a miel.

No importa cuanto te extrañe,
ya este capitulo termino-
una historia inconclusa,
un adios sin adios.

Solo buscame en tus suenos,
porque solo ahi me encontraras-
las heridas han sanado,
no pienso volver atras.

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Sleeping with the enemy

My home was built in 1955. Some may say this home is old, and to others like myself, it is just “right”. Purchased this house over two years ago, with the mindset to renew some esthetics and make this my home. To give you a better idea, it is a split level, three bedrooms on the top floor, and a family room on the lower level. My family is small, and so an extra family room is not needed. Therefore, I converted the family room into my master bedroom. My bedroom has 4 nice size windows and is adjacent to the boiler/furnace room. A back entrance was within close proximity as well. For some reason, I got into the habit of opening my windows and backdoor when the weather is nice. The ventilation that comes in is so refreshing! I was very happy overall; the only thing that was “old” was the heating furnace, which seemed to be working fine.

As anyone with a new home, I started tackling small projects, such as painting and such. I knew the furnace needed replacement due to the age, but as I researched the internet, I was eased by the information I was reading- “if its working than why change it?” and so, it was not a priority for me, especially knowing that is would be a financial setback.

As the fall started to arrive and the weather began to fluctuate over a month ago-I called the heating company and as everyone would do, got the system bleeded and ready for the winter. They encouraged me to look into a new furnace sooner than later, but no urgency in the matter. If its working, it was all I needed… and so I thought.

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Soon after that, as the temperature dipped especially at night and the heat would turn on, I remember hearing on occasion some mild rattling sound coming from the pipes where the furnace was. I listened, and then it disappeared. It was an old house after all. Shortly after that, I remember waking up day after day, exhausted. I was drained and had no explanation. My headaches returned but it was different. It was constant pain that lasted day in and day out. Tylenol and Advil became my buddies but it didn’t alleviate the pain or fatigue I was feeling. My lifestyle remained the same, and I did not feel stressed or anything around those lines. I had no answer, and convinced myself that perhaps I was just stressed about something I wasn’t aware of. Eventually this would go away. My mood swings became more apparent to me, and questioned myself in several occasions if perhaps I was bipolar. It’s a crazy thought, but it sounded real. I must say it was a bit overwhelming, but I stood quiet and kept living as normal as I could. Within the last two weeks, my symptoms became more apparent and I started to worry about the possibility of have a brain tumor or such-my headaches were so agonizing and never ending. This affected my driving skills, which made it difficult to focus, and was of definite concern. I was frightened at this point. Unfortunately I don’t have health insurance right now, and did not want to carry a medical bill if I went to the ER.

Three nights ago, upon my youngest daughter’s persistence, I allowed her to sleep with me. It was the weekend and she was up watching tv by my side as I had drifted into deep sleep. I remember her waking me up worried about a loud noise that kept coming from the furnace, and as I opened my eyes from that deep sleep, I listened and I was surprised to see I had slept through it. I told her it was the furnace, its an old house, it was ok-and I drifted off again. The next morning waking up again with the same headache and fatigue that had become part of my new lifestyle, I realized the noise was still there; not as loud, but there it was. I also realized that if my daughter was concerned enough to wake me up, that it was perhaps something I should address. I called the heating company to come and see. It was Sunday morning shortly after 9am. This call saved my life. My daughter saved saved my life.

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An hour after my call, they came. My furnace had a crack which was leaking carbon monoxide. I was being poisoned in my sleep, and every second I had spent in my bedroom. I was explained that luckily because of my daily habit of opening my windows and back door, I was allowing some ventilation to pass, hence saving my own life. All of these symptoms I have been suffering from in the past few weeks now made sense, and it was somewhat of a relief. Needless to say this was an expense I did not anticipate now, but it had to be done. I contracted them to remove and replace the furnace immediately. It is now 2 days of significant health improvement. I am almost at my old self again. I can function and my headaches have almost disappeared. I am so thankful for being alive and having the opportunity to tell my story. I was sleeping with the enemy who was killing me in silence.

So I write this to express the importance of keeping your appliances upto date. Most importantly, to be aware of your symptoms and pay close attention to them. Our bodies are good indicators of when something is wrong. Listen and investigate! Please share this story. It could save someone’s life.

“The greatest gift you can receive, is another day in life” – author unknown

From “flat” to “FAB”- 6 weeks to a bigger butt.

I remember having a pretty good figure growing up: always athletic and active. My jeans always seem to fit nicely over my figure and I was proud.

It was after the birth of my first child that my body took a different direction, and I was not happy. One of the major changes I had was loosing definition and volume on my glutes. I had no idea this was even possible-but it sure is.

Below I will share with you a few exercises that will bring back the shape and volume to your glutes. The more consistency you have the better the result. I can vouch for that. I am very happy with my rear curves now a days, and it was so easy. You can do it too! Do this routine 5 days a week for 6 weeks. Every exercise should be done at a slow pace. Speed is not recommended for best results. (please note I do not own any rights to the images below. I am using these as a visual aid)

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Squats – 2o Reps daily: make sure you keep your back aligned and squeeze those buns at every rise.

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Lunges – 20 Reps daily(per leg): make sure your back is aligned for better posture.

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Donkey Kicks – 2o Reps daily(per leg): make sure you keep your arms and back straight.

Bridge – 20 Reps daily: Make sure you tighten your tummy muscles and squeeze your buns when you rise your hips.

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“The key to success is consistency” – Zak Frazer

U.S. Presidential debate 2020-What a disaster!!!

Three days ago on September 29, 2020 a very awaited presidential debate took place in Ohio- Trump Vs. Biden. This was the first debate of the season and it was a little nerve wrecking to anticipate the outcome of such confrontation. With such a large division between democrats and republicans, the joke of Trump not wearing his mask or perhaps not even attending after the discovery of his tax evasion for many years, were rumored and laughed about by the democrats. On the other side of this coin, republicans joked about Biden forgetting to attend this debate to the lack of memory he has been targeted for- then came those undecided who just listened…

Trump: The Art Of The Insult

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I ran home from work that day because missing just a minute of this debate would be unforgivable. I am not into politics or identify myself as such, but I do believe in becoming informed and practicing my right to vote for a better future. I believe in rights! I believe in the constitution, and equality for genders and race. I believe my vote can make a difference for my daughters’ future. This is why presidential debates are so important. Because it is no longer a commercial, but a face to face battle that should be well controlled and informative.

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This 2020 debate was everything BUT controlled and informative. It was over 90 mins of a very uncontrolled man who deviated many of the important topics and focused on disrespecting his opponent and the moderator. This was Trump! Many of us were in “awe” by witnessing his behavior. It reminded me of those school bullies I warn my kids about. It was a disgrace to see his lack of professionalism and hunger for power, yet… he showed very little knowledge of the chosen topics. On the other side of that stage stood Biden. A very calm and collected man who smirked through most of this fiasco and made every attempt to speak to his audience. He created a more personable approach by directing his answers to the viewers. Although most of his answers were butchered halfway by Trump, Biden attempted to answer as best he could. Biden did appear to get flustered with frustration, and at one point just told president Trump to “shut up!” This was eye opening! However, as a viewer, I was left with uncertainty. No topic was informative and not a fair chance was given to both candidates. I feel this debate was manipulated by Trump and it was a S**T show! What a disaster! What a sick joke to all the American people watching! Unfortunately there are no good candidates for this next presidential election, but I know where my vote will go.

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I am aware that everyone has the right to interpret such debate as they wish, and I am not here judging or insinuating you vote Democrat or Republican. I am simply sharing my opinion, as it is my right to do so. For those out there who are able to vote, be informed and practice your right. Every vote makes a difference and it takes just one vote cross that finish line first. Till next time!

Will He Go?: Trump and the Looming Election Meltdown in 2020

“Be the change that you want to see in the world” – Mahatma Gandhi

Mending a broken heart

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Finding the strength within ourselves to continue life after a break-up may be challenging for some. If you find yourself reading this blog or searching the internet for answers on this topic, then more than likely you are not alone. Many of us have been broken-hearted; more than once I am sure. I can tell you that the “love” department has definitely been my lifetime struggle. I am successful in everyway, for this I am grateful. Yet…my life puzzle is missing that important piece-LOVE.

Your Key to Happiness

I can’t help but smile helplessly when I see those happy couples walking down the street, holding hands, laughing, radiating an amazing connection. I wonder selfishly how that really feels, and if indeed, they are happy. I have been in several relationships through my life-not by choice. I crave for “love”. I dream about my soulmate and all the happiness and laughter that we would share. I daydream about this and I am no novice to this topic. Every relationship I have entered, I did so expecting it would be the “one”. Yet, it did not turn out that way for reasons that I did not foresee. This is what makes it so challenging.

“DATE YOURSELF”

Many times, more than I care to remember I have been left broken-hearted. Feelings that induce anger, sadness, emptiness. Yet, with time I brushed it off and here I stand. Strong! And I guarantee that you can do the same. It is all a matter of healing, and allowing ourselves the time to do so. This is the time where you “date yourself”. During this process, rediscover yourself and do what makes “you” happy. Explore new adventures, new hobbies, new restaurants- but most importantly, EXPLORE YOURSELF. Find your passions. What makes you smile? What makes you happy? Find your strength.

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Dating and the Single Parent: * Are You Ready to Date? * Talking With the Kids * Avoiding a Big Mistake * Finding Lasting Love

There is no point in reminiscing about a relationship that did not work. Think about it…if you are not together, than more than likely the reasons were there. No one walks away from a great healthy relationship- This was not the right person, or perhaps just not the right time. Although it is not easy, you must stay positive and always keep focused. A positive perspective is key for mending a broken heart. Keep in mind that you are a strong, valuable, amazing person. Love yourself hard! Someone out there will see your worth, and this will happen at the right time, with the right person- and when this happens, a “breakup” will never be an option.

So for now, lets focus on making ourselves better each day. Lets place our head up high, chin up and lets face the world with confidence. Remember that no matter how bad things may appear to be, eventually, everything gets better again.

“Life isn’t about falling. Its about getting up every time you fall” – author unknown

Stress Less Cards – 50 Mindfulness & Meditation Exercises – Helps Relieve Stress and Anxiety – The Original Deck

Single parenting

The Kickass Single Mom: Be Financially Independent, Discover Your Sexiest Self, and Raise Fabulous, Happy Children

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Ok, so perhaps becoming a single parent was not part of your life plan. But life is unpredictable and often times, things may not work out exactly how we may have envisioned them. Life is full of curve balls and it is up to us to learn how to maneuver around them all the the way through the finish line.

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As a single parent myself, I can tell you that it is totally “doable”. The uniqueness in the love that we feel towards our children is unexplainable. This unexplainable connection that will automatically fire up all the “mommy” and/or “daddy” modes. Becoming a parent, single or not, does not come with an instruction manual, although it would be helpful, lol. But its really not that complicated, and I can vouch for that. I can definitely relate to you with all the doubts and fears that may arise. “Will I be a good parent? Am I financially ready? Can I make it on my own?” and so many more doubts that arise. Raising children in the traditional setting of “a married household” is ideal, and I respect your opinion on the matter. But to some, this is not the ideal setting. Many reasons fall behind why we choose to be a single parent (a future topic), and if it will create a safer, healthier, happier environment for you and your child, then you have my support.

Dating and the Single Parent: * Are You Ready to Date? * Talking With the Kids * Avoiding a Big Mistake * Finding Lasting Love

I can tell you that you need to have faith, and believe that everything will work out. Everything may feel a bit overwhelming at first, but with some time and patience, you will find a routine that works. Trial and error is part of learning, and being a parent is a life learning experience which never ends. I have heard about support groups in communities that extend help for families in need. If you find yourself in a position where you need that extra guidance, I would recommend you do an internet search in your state. There you may find counseling, housing and/or food vouchers to help you in troubled times. Thankfully, I have been blessed with a great career history and cannot elaborate on those extreme calls for help by experience, but I have crossed paths with many people who have been in that position, and there is no shame in seeking help when help is needed. Ask around and get reviews on pediatricians near you. A good pediatrician with weekend or late hours is always best. You want to think ahead and be ready for those last minute doctor calls. A pediatrician with a flexible schedule will come in handy, especially to work around your work schedule. Remember you are running a “one-man” show here. Keeping up with immunizations is extremely important in the upkeep of your healthy child.

One of the biggest expense you will incur in early childhood is Daycare. Depending on where you are located, these fees will vary drastically. I have learned that infants are charged a higher fee due to the amount of responsibilities that are involved. Lets face it, just between feeding and diapers every 2-3 hours is exhausting on its own. I understand. As your child becomes a toddler, and he/she is potty trained, you can celebrate. Hooray! your daycare fee just got lower. As you see, with time and patience, it all starts to make sense, and all the hard work you put into today, will be a lifetime of smiles and happiness.

Find Your Light: Practicing Mindfulness to Recover from Anything

“You only have control of 3 things in your life: the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take” – Jack Canfield