…and so time will tell!

I have heard this phrase so many times, it is practically engraved in me. More often than not, this is what is said when things seem unpredictable-with the hopes of everything unfolding as “it should.” We embrace hope in so many ways, and this is good. I know it is not easy to find the strength to stay positive and hopeful in times of hardship, yet this may be the only thing that will help you from going insane. I have lived it many times, and so have you. There is no exceptions to the challenges of life. At the end, we look back and realize we did ok with managing “that” struggle. Don’t beat yourself up over things that you have no control over. IT IS POINTLESS! Refocus and try very hard to find the good in every situation. I didn’t say it would be easy, but it is possible, and you will begin to feel so much better. It always works! Be truthful to yourself, and have realistic expectations of the possible outcomes.

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness” -Desmond TuTu


The strand she left behind

Yes, I saw it more than once.

No, I did not speak in hopes of peace.

Maybe, I should ask and and not dismiss.

Yes, I love you without doubt.

No, you cannot just justify.

Maybe, I should remind myself that I want you, yet do not need you.

Yes, I will stand strong and not get weakened,

Maybe, all I needed was to hear you cared.

No, I shall not continue when the stakes are high

Yes, I deserve to be happy

Maybe, you have learned your lesson.

“She is clothed in Strength & Dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”

Proverbs 31:25

Chapter 43/Page 18

I have heard many times over and over again that our life is what we make it. I agree. How about you?

As 2020 was coming to an end, and now initiating a new year, I have taken more time than usual to do a self analysis. To understand where I am in life, and what I need to achieve to be where I want to be. Accepting the trials and errors of my past 43 years of life is priceless. Understanding that although everything did not unfold perfectly in my life, it cannot be undone or changed.

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So…as I look forward, I will take a seat and refocus from an author’s perspective. I will think wisely about life choices, keeping in mind that whatever happens today will fill the content of the page; hence the title of this post. I am 43 years old and today is Junuary 18th. I am in Chapter 43/page 18. Each chapter will be 365 pages which will relate to every day of the year. What chapter and page are you in right now?

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Wow! What happened in the last 42 chapters of my life? It seems like a lot of content should have been recorded, yet my memories don’t feel sufficient to justify so many pages; and just like that, life continues without stopping and we are so caught up with life struggles that we forget to focus on ourselves. My plan moving forward is to remember that I hold the ink that writes my story. It is only I that can control what and how the story goes. Although life will have its curveballs, more than often, we will be faced with decisions that will take us to the next page.

Be thankful, be humble, be loyal, be wise. You own your story, fill in the pages.

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”-Scott Adams

It’s Christmas, and it’s bitter sweet!

It is officially ten days till Christmas and mother nature seems uncertain as to what season we are in. Here in the north east coast we are enjoying a rollercoaster of temperatures. One day it is super cold and the wind is blowing everything in sight, and the next morning it is a beautiful sunny day in the low sixties; memoires of a perfect spring day.

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As I sit here on my computer writing, I feel a sense of relief for being able to somehow share what is on my mind. Low lights, the smell of savory hot coffee and the Christmas jingles playing low in the background. My Christmas tree is up and some bright lights accents shadow my windows. I have some gifts under the tree and my children are happy; yet I feel bitter sweet. The usual anticipation of the holidays remain the same for young children. Its amazing how they manage to keep that jolly spirit in the midst of it all.

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It has been a very challenging year for everyone, and I feel very blessed for what 2020 has given us. I was given the opportunity spend so much time with my children, and this is priceless. I lost my job during this pandemic, and so did many, but fortunately we managed to stay afloat and not alter our lifestyle. This was a changing moment for me, as I was able to pursue my passion in real estate. Now, this is my next chapter, and I am excited. I am thankful for a warm place to sleep and warm food on our table. It is the essentials that matter most, and these we did not lack. Our family and ourselves were exposed to Covid as well, yet I am thankful we did not loose anyone. Homeschooling was a tremendous challenge for everyone and somehow we have learned to adapt.

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I think of Christmas and I want to be blissful, but it is not easy. I see the troubles with so many families and it saddens me to feel impotent in not being able to offer them relief. I want to be jolly, but the sadness that is in the air is too strong to ignore. I take a deep breath in and remember how blessed we are, and then again I smile.

“A strong woman looks a challenge in the eye and gives it a wink” – Gina Carey

T’is the season…

The trees are now half dressed with the beauty of orange leaves and the night arrives quicker every passing day. The heat of the sun is no longer enough to keep us warm, and Christmas decorations are now the main attraction at every local department store.

This year has felt so long, and yet here we are 2 months away from 2021. It definitely has been a rocky and unpredictable year for everyone, including myself. We all keep wishing for this year to be long gone, and to a fresh start for 2021-and at the same time, as we get closer to that count-down, the nerves and unsettling emotions of what lays ahead keeps many up at night.

Positive Vibrations – Meditation for Joy

So many families have lost loved ones this year without notice, some never said good-bye. An empty seat during the holiday season trigger depression, anxiety and hopelessness. Others lost their jobs, and no matter how hard they try, the frustration of not finding employment shadows their thoughts every waking moment. The thought of unemployment benefits coming at a halt in December, and having nothing to look forward to during the holiday season trigger depression, anxiety and hopelessness.

The life struggles that every family has is unique, yet comparable and/or similar to someone they know. Emotional struggles and financial struggles are only some of the many out there. It is important that we check up on each other and make sure everyone in our “circle” is handling this last quarter of 2020 okay. We may not be where we want to be in life, but we are here! It is so important to practice positive thinking every single day. This is medicinal for the soul and heart. We must be thankful for all we have and don’t have, because somewhere on this planet, there is someone who prays to be in your place. Things may not always seem clear and and the future may look foggy; positive reinforcement will help you navigate through the rocky roads. A great way to transform negative energy into positive, is to read motivational books. On this page are some that I have read and suggest, but you are welcome to find new ones and recommend to me.

Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts

Lets pray for a good today, a better tomorrow, and a great future. One day at a time and it will all unfold as it should.

“Think positive. Talk positive. Feel positive.” – authur unknown

Buscame #poesia #spanishpoetry #poem

Buscame cuando me empiezes a extrañar,
cuando la brisa del invierno toque tu piel
y sientas el frio de la soledad.

Buscame en tus sueños,
en tu memoria escondida-
quiza en esa historia yo todavia exista.

Tu lejania fue dificil,
aun recuerdo aquel "adios" que nunce diste-
Dia tras dia te pense, extanandote en mi piel
tus ojos cristalinos, tus besos sabor a miel.

No importa cuanto te extrañe,
ya este capitulo termino-
una historia inconclusa,
un adios sin adios.

Solo buscame en tus suenos,
porque solo ahi me encontraras-
las heridas han sanado,
no pienso volver atras.

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Sleeping with the enemy

My home was built in 1955. Some may say this home is old, and to others like myself, it is just “right”. Purchased this house over two years ago, with the mindset to renew some esthetics and make this my home. To give you a better idea, it is a split level, three bedrooms on the top floor, and a family room on the lower level. My family is small, and so an extra family room is not needed. Therefore, I converted the family room into my master bedroom. My bedroom has 4 nice size windows and is adjacent to the boiler/furnace room. A back entrance was within close proximity as well. For some reason, I got into the habit of opening my windows and backdoor when the weather is nice. The ventilation that comes in is so refreshing! I was very happy overall; the only thing that was “old” was the heating furnace, which seemed to be working fine.

As anyone with a new home, I started tackling small projects, such as painting and such. I knew the furnace needed replacement due to the age, but as I researched the internet, I was eased by the information I was reading- “if its working than why change it?” and so, it was not a priority for me, especially knowing that is would be a financial setback.

As the fall started to arrive and the weather began to fluctuate over a month ago-I called the heating company and as everyone would do, got the system bleeded and ready for the winter. They encouraged me to look into a new furnace sooner than later, but no urgency in the matter. If its working, it was all I needed… and so I thought.

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Soon after that, as the temperature dipped especially at night and the heat would turn on, I remember hearing on occasion some mild rattling sound coming from the pipes where the furnace was. I listened, and then it disappeared. It was an old house after all. Shortly after that, I remember waking up day after day, exhausted. I was drained and had no explanation. My headaches returned but it was different. It was constant pain that lasted day in and day out. Tylenol and Advil became my buddies but it didn’t alleviate the pain or fatigue I was feeling. My lifestyle remained the same, and I did not feel stressed or anything around those lines. I had no answer, and convinced myself that perhaps I was just stressed about something I wasn’t aware of. Eventually this would go away. My mood swings became more apparent to me, and questioned myself in several occasions if perhaps I was bipolar. It’s a crazy thought, but it sounded real. I must say it was a bit overwhelming, but I stood quiet and kept living as normal as I could. Within the last two weeks, my symptoms became more apparent and I started to worry about the possibility of have a brain tumor or such-my headaches were so agonizing and never ending. This affected my driving skills, which made it difficult to focus, and was of definite concern. I was frightened at this point. Unfortunately I don’t have health insurance right now, and did not want to carry a medical bill if I went to the ER.

Three nights ago, upon my youngest daughter’s persistence, I allowed her to sleep with me. It was the weekend and she was up watching tv by my side as I had drifted into deep sleep. I remember her waking me up worried about a loud noise that kept coming from the furnace, and as I opened my eyes from that deep sleep, I listened and I was surprised to see I had slept through it. I told her it was the furnace, its an old house, it was ok-and I drifted off again. The next morning waking up again with the same headache and fatigue that had become part of my new lifestyle, I realized the noise was still there; not as loud, but there it was. I also realized that if my daughter was concerned enough to wake me up, that it was perhaps something I should address. I called the heating company to come and see. It was Sunday morning shortly after 9am. This call saved my life. My daughter saved saved my life.

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An hour after my call, they came. My furnace had a crack which was leaking carbon monoxide. I was being poisoned in my sleep, and every second I had spent in my bedroom. I was explained that luckily because of my daily habit of opening my windows and back door, I was allowing some ventilation to pass, hence saving my own life. All of these symptoms I have been suffering from in the past few weeks now made sense, and it was somewhat of a relief. Needless to say this was an expense I did not anticipate now, but it had to be done. I contracted them to remove and replace the furnace immediately. It is now 2 days of significant health improvement. I am almost at my old self again. I can function and my headaches have almost disappeared. I am so thankful for being alive and having the opportunity to tell my story. I was sleeping with the enemy who was killing me in silence.

So I write this to express the importance of keeping your appliances upto date. Most importantly, to be aware of your symptoms and pay close attention to them. Our bodies are good indicators of when something is wrong. Listen and investigate! Please share this story. It could save someone’s life.

“The greatest gift you can receive, is another day in life” – author unknown

From “flat” to “FAB”- 6 weeks to a bigger butt.

I remember having a pretty good figure growing up: always athletic and active. My jeans always seem to fit nicely over my figure and I was proud.

It was after the birth of my first child that my body took a different direction, and I was not happy. One of the major changes I had was loosing definition and volume on my glutes. I had no idea this was even possible-but it sure is.

Below I will share with you a few exercises that will bring back the shape and volume to your glutes. The more consistency you have the better the result. I can vouch for that. I am very happy with my rear curves now a days, and it was so easy. You can do it too! Do this routine 5 days a week for 6 weeks. Every exercise should be done at a slow pace. Speed is not recommended for best results. (please note I do not own any rights to the images below. I am using these as a visual aid)

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Squats – 2o Reps daily: make sure you keep your back aligned and squeeze those buns at every rise.

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Lunges – 20 Reps daily(per leg): make sure your back is aligned for better posture.

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Donkey Kicks – 2o Reps daily(per leg): make sure you keep your arms and back straight.

Bridge – 20 Reps daily: Make sure you tighten your tummy muscles and squeeze your buns when you rise your hips.

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“The key to success is consistency” – Zak Frazer

U.S. Presidential debate 2020-What a disaster!!!

Three days ago on September 29, 2020 a very awaited presidential debate took place in Ohio- Trump Vs. Biden. This was the first debate of the season and it was a little nerve wrecking to anticipate the outcome of such confrontation. With such a large division between democrats and republicans, the joke of Trump not wearing his mask or perhaps not even attending after the discovery of his tax evasion for many years, were rumored and laughed about by the democrats. On the other side of this coin, republicans joked about Biden forgetting to attend this debate to the lack of memory he has been targeted for- then came those undecided who just listened…

Trump: The Art Of The Insult

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I ran home from work that day because missing just a minute of this debate would be unforgivable. I am not into politics or identify myself as such, but I do believe in becoming informed and practicing my right to vote for a better future. I believe in rights! I believe in the constitution, and equality for genders and race. I believe my vote can make a difference for my daughters’ future. This is why presidential debates are so important. Because it is no longer a commercial, but a face to face battle that should be well controlled and informative.

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This 2020 debate was everything BUT controlled and informative. It was over 90 mins of a very uncontrolled man who deviated many of the important topics and focused on disrespecting his opponent and the moderator. This was Trump! Many of us were in “awe” by witnessing his behavior. It reminded me of those school bullies I warn my kids about. It was a disgrace to see his lack of professionalism and hunger for power, yet… he showed very little knowledge of the chosen topics. On the other side of that stage stood Biden. A very calm and collected man who smirked through most of this fiasco and made every attempt to speak to his audience. He created a more personable approach by directing his answers to the viewers. Although most of his answers were butchered halfway by Trump, Biden attempted to answer as best he could. Biden did appear to get flustered with frustration, and at one point just told president Trump to “shut up!” This was eye opening! However, as a viewer, I was left with uncertainty. No topic was informative and not a fair chance was given to both candidates. I feel this debate was manipulated by Trump and it was a S**T show! What a disaster! What a sick joke to all the American people watching! Unfortunately there are no good candidates for this next presidential election, but I know where my vote will go.

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I am aware that everyone has the right to interpret such debate as they wish, and I am not here judging or insinuating you vote Democrat or Republican. I am simply sharing my opinion, as it is my right to do so. For those out there who are able to vote, be informed and practice your right. Every vote makes a difference and it takes just one vote cross that finish line first. Till next time!

Will He Go?: Trump and the Looming Election Meltdown in 2020

“Be the change that you want to see in the world” – Mahatma Gandhi

Unfinished #poetry

An open ended sentence that left so much unsaid,
our book of memories is my companion every night when I'm in bed.

Where are you now I wonder, as I look upon the moon.
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, are you thinking of me too?

The ending to the story, that we once began to write-
has left so many blank pages due to the constant fight.

It doesn't matter now who was wrong or who is right,
because without you by my side, my day is no longer bright.

Another night of open questions, with no response and no reply,
the ending to our story, not a finale, but a good-bye.

101 Famous Poems

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